Improve and proofread this short story (220 words)

Status: Closed
Prize: $25
Entries Received: 38
Winner: sosdocmd

Winner

Contest Brief

English is not my first language, and I need some help with the story below. Please keep it close to original, and make it grammatically correct, informative, and inspiring! With focus on inspiring and success (not love).

Who are “we”?
"We" includes Vitaliy Hayda from Ukraine and Kseniia Shnyreva from Russia. Now, in our mid 20s, we live in Arlington, VA, about 2 miles from Washington, D.C.

We met each other in Ocean City, Maryland in the summer of 2012. Our relationship blossomed quickly and we got married, a year and a half later. At that point it was our parent's nightmare come true, because of Ukraine-Russia mutual "dislike". But about half a year later, they started to see that person's country of origin doesn't make him/her a bad person by default.

We arrived to US with only $612 and had to work 16-hour days, while earning only $1,200 each/month. We still managed to hit the gym in between jobs and prioritized traveling and meeting new people. We used to ride bikes for 40 minutes one way to work at a fast food restaurants, live in a room with 4 people, speak no English, but were still happy and enjoyed every morning.

But after two years and 13 jobs in pursuit of happiness, we are finally living our American Dream! We have brand new cars, great jobs, 3 businesses, our own apartment and, most importantly, ability travel anywhere anytime. We also have time to read books, network with amazing people, and plan our next big adventure!

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Employer Feedback

“Well done. Thanks a lot”

vitaliyhayda, United States.

Public Clarification Board

sosdocmd
- 10 years ago
I just sent your PERFECT About US
- 10 years ago
1. Ashmaroli
  - 10 years ago
  Congratulations sosdocmd! Your winning entry is indeed a magnificent read..
  - 10 years ago
cerridtawe
- 10 years ago
Thank you for your comments.
- 10 years ago
Contest Holder
- 10 years ago
I'm so impressed with amazing job all of you did. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

All entries rated, and after my "strict" selection 11 out of 35 have 5 stars. At the end, I will select 5 I like the most and send those to my friends, and whoever they chose will be a winner.
- 10 years ago
View 3 more messages
1. anivempati
  - 10 years ago
  Thank you
  - 10 years ago
2. Ritika64
  - 10 years ago
  Thank you for the overwhelming response you gave to my revision of your inspiring story.
  - 10 years ago
HKPatel7
- 10 years ago
Vitaliy, can you please rate entry #43. It has the changes you recommended. Thanks!
- 10 years ago
kiarakiaruzza
- 10 years ago
Man, your story is very inspiring! Good luck everyone!
- 10 years ago
TOvermiller
- 10 years ago
Thanks for allowing us to participate with you on this. So happy for your story.
- 10 years ago
sulaksha82
- 10 years ago
Kindly please rate my entry #39 . Thanks.
- 10 years ago
HKPatel7
- 10 years ago
Vitaliy, can you please rate entry #38 and leave feedback? NOTE: My entry is a lot shorter than it appears; I just use a large font so it's easier for you to read. Thanks!
- 10 years ago
Huma3001
- 10 years ago
Hi vitaliyhayda,
Kindly have a look at entry #37
Waiting in anticipation
Thank you :)
- 10 years ago
div94
- 10 years ago
hey
do find time to rate my entry !
its # 32
thankyou :)
- 10 years ago
Ashmaroli
- 10 years ago
Hi. Please expand the supported file formats of the entries to documents (PDF, ODT, etc)
- 10 years ago
View 2 more messages
1. Ashmaroli
  - 10 years ago
  Thanks for trying. :)
  - 10 years ago
2. cerridtawe
  - 10 years ago
  I do hope you like the re-write.
  - 10 years ago
HKPatel7
- 10 years ago
Vitaliy, please don't end this contest early. I'm working on an entry (as I'm sure many others are as well) and I don't want all that effort to go in vain. Thanks!
- 10 years ago
sosdocmd
- 10 years ago
Hi there! Take a look at my rendition of your wonderful heartwarming story!
- 10 years ago
1. Contest Holder
  - 10 years ago
  Thank you! See my comments to your entry
  - 10 years ago
Rachel's
- 10 years ago
What you think of my try?
- 10 years ago
1. Contest Holder
  - 10 years ago
  Thank you! See my comments to your entry
  - 10 years ago
mudassariqbal58
- 10 years ago
Hello, I will start your story with a formal introduction of both of you and then I will move on. along with that, I will create a unique state of the art and classic story for you.
- 10 years ago
1. Contest Holder
  - 10 years ago
  Sounds fantastic! Please submit your version of the story as an entry to this contest. Winner will be selected at the end of the contest.
  - 10 years ago
maniur24
- 10 years ago
Hello, I'm highly interested. I'm a student of English Language & Literature. I already found many grammatical mistakes in here. I can submit it in 2 hours.
- 10 years ago
1. Contest Holder
  - 10 years ago
  I know that there are many! Please submit your version of the story as an entry to this contest. Winner will be selected at the end of the contest.
  - 10 years ago