We want to PAY YOU to give yourself acne!
We're looking for a moderately attractive male or female, aged 18-35, with fairly clear skin and a good sense of humor. The assignment is to spend one week trying to GIVE YOURSELF ACNE: you will smear your face with oil, crisco, pizza grease, and other unctuous substances, then go about your daily business.
A high-quality digital camera is required, as you must take plenty of pictures (at least 10 per day). You will also need to keep a written journal of your experiences (at least 2 typed pages per day). Your experiences will then be written up for our award-winning comedy Web site, where we will give your experiment massive publicity. Please do not apply if you do not want to become a "breakout" star!
We will pay $250 for the article, plus up to $100 for expenses, with an additional $100 bonus if you are able to successfully give yourself at least five zits.
This is not a joke. (Well, it IS funny, but we'll really pay for the article.)
If you're interested, please send us a recent photo, plus a brief summary of your basic stats (age, height, weight, occupation, where you live, etc.) We will be looking for you to conduct the experiment over the next two weeks. Good luck!