Make an Instant Messenger using Excel and VB

Looking for someone who can build me an instant messenger using only excel and vb macros. The goal is to be able to instantly communicate with anyone else using an excel spreadsheet. This means, the sheet has to refresh on it's own, and you have to be able connect with someone else, and share files as well. the design would resemble a twitter feed as well. If you can do this within a couple of days, please submit a bid.