Hello, and thank you for the not-boring-sounding listing!
As a freelancer, "quippy" is a refreshing departure from the usual, if I'm being honest, monotonous prose. Article, press release, article, press release, etc...
I guess what I'm saying is that creating social copy for your pizza chain in the tone you have requested is something I would genuinely enjoy doing. I could list for you my accolades as a content writer (long before my time here at freelancer), talk about my prodigious prose and rapier's wit, and so on, but I believe in action.
So here is a free sample to prove I can post like Wendy's (have you checked their social media? Salty to the extreme but very funny):
"Craving deliciosity? Try (our chain). Need to induce vomiting after swallowing a battery? Try (competing brand)."
Cheers, hope to speak soon.
Nik