Humor writing neededpekerjaan

I have a legitimate need to hack and mirror a person's phone for investigative purposes. I need this done as quickly as possible. Key project requirements: - The target device is an Samsung, running the latest android version. - The hacking and mirroring process should be discreet and undetectable by the phone's owner. - I need a report on the target device's activities, including text messages, calls, social media interactions, and GPS locations and apps. Ideal freelancer: - Proven experience in phone hacking and mirroring. - Sound understanding of iOS and the latest smartphone technologies. - Ability to deliver results quickly and discreetly. - A good track record of maintaining client confidentiality. Please include examples of your past work in your application.

I'm in search of a passionate programmer well-versed in WebAssembly regardless of the intended use, whether that be to increase performance, port an existing codebase, or enhance security, which is information I chose not to specify. The desired professional should be adaptable, as I have also not stated the programming languages to be incorporated in this project. Variable language skills in JavaScript, C++, or Rust are therefore highly favorable. Since I have not stated a specific timeline for this project, the potential freelancer must be flexible with deadlines and communicative about their availability. This job is perfect for any well-rounded developer eager to tackle any challenge.

I'm looking for a skilled architect or draftsperson who can assist me with detailed floor plans for a renovation project. Specifically, I need: - Detailed floor plans with measurements and annotations of an existing property for renovation purposes. Your expertise should include: - Proficiency in creating architectural drawings, particularly detailed floor plans. - Experience in renovation projects, particularly understanding of measurements and annotations. - A keen eye for detail and ability to capture a space accurately.

I am on the lookout for a talented freelancer who possesses excellent writing skills, specifically in the domain of self-help literature. The project involves writing a complete self-help book and will require the freelancer to have: - Strong proficiency in English writing, grammar, and punctuation - Prior experience in working on self-help or similar genre projects - Ability to creatively convert ideas into engaging & persuasive content - Capability to incorporate given feedback with prompt edits Please note, the process will demand a close collaboration and regular communication for providing updates, receiving inputs, and ensuring the project stays on track. The ideal candidate will have diligence for timelines, an appreciation for the genre, and dedication to...

I'm pursuing an investigation into the concept of value creation stemming from cultural diversity in Asia, specifically focusing on innovation an...bachelor thesis and conduct an extensive literature review. Key Tasks: - Develop and write a thorough, well-researched scholarly bachelor thesis on innovation and creativity as an aspect of value creation in cultural diversity: Asia's perspective. - Conduct a comprehensive, insightful literature review that extensively explores my chosen topic. Skills & Experience: - Proven aptitude in thesis writing and academic research - Deep understanding of cultural diversity, specifically in Asia - Familiarity with the economic concept of value creation, and a niche specialization in innovation and creativity - Excellent written c...

We are in search of a ZOHO expert available for hourly consultancy to assist us in mastering various ZOHO applications. Over the past 2-3 months, we've successfully integrated Zoho Projects, CRM, Invoices, and Calendar into our workflow. Our next step is to streamline and enhance our processes and pipelines by effectively linking these applications. Our goal is to engage in video calls with screen sharing sessions, where you will guide us through the optimal use of all features, focusing on refining and automating our processes. Confidentiality is paramount, as we aim to safeguard our customer information within the ZOHO apps. Therefore, this collaboration model is essential. We are looking to schedule 2-hour sessions, multiple times a week, on an ongoing basis. If you are proficie...

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I'm in need of a WordPress expert to troubleshoot and fix errors on my website, which is primarily centered around the homepage. The main issue seems to be related to error messages being displayed. Key Responsibilities: - Identifying and resolving the error messages on the homepage - Ensuring the website is fully functional and error-free Ideal Skills and Experience: - Strong proficiency in WordPress - Experience in resolving error messages and technical issues - Attention to detail - Ability to work efficiently and effectively to resolve the issue Your primary focus should be on ensuring that the homepage is free of error messages and functions smoothly to encourage visitors to fill out a contact form.

I'm in need of an experienced draftsperson who can bring my vision of a modern, minimalistic mall to life. To be effective in this role, you should: - Have specific experience and a track record in mall design - Demonstrate an understanding of modern and minimalistic aesthetics - Be adept at designing centralized food courts of various scales - Have an ability to conceptualize and incorporate multi-level parking facilities Your design should combine both aesthetics and functionality, considering the overall shopping experience when it comes to flow and navigation. Prior commercial design projects will be an edge. A genuine passion for creating spaces that bring people together underlies all the skills and experience I'm looking for.

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I am seeking a versatile copywriter who can leverage both ChatGPT and SURFERSEO t...various themes. We need proffesional who can write with prompts for service businesses commercial, and transactional SEO content. Ideal experience and skills: • Proven expertise in using chatgpt • Proficient with SURFERSEO use • Versatility in writing styles - professional, casual or humorous • Flexibility to write for varied subject areas • Quick in understanding and implementing briefs without explicit direction Write to me if you possess the key abilities: versatility, quick adaptability, proven experience in required tools, and a flair for all writing styles. We pay by article 10 cad. Need for full time, many pages need to write, each from 1500-4000 words. Write...

I'm looking for a skilled writer with experience in business writing. The project is urgent and needs to be completed in less than a week. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proven track record in business writing - Ability to work under tight deadlines - Strong understanding of the business writing style - Familiarity with various business-related topics Please note that this post was created without the specific details of the task. This is because the client did not provide detailed information. You may choose to address this in your bid or reach out to the client for more information.). Formatting and paper length: Standard margins consist of one- inch margins on the top and bottom and 1.25" margins for the left and right. A 12 point font, double-spaced w...

I'm looking for a TypeScript expert to build a SaaS model comprised of small micro-services within windmill.dev. The goal is to handle incoming data from Instagram and automatically respond using chatgpt. Key tasks will include: - Writing clean, optimized TypeScript code - Debugging and fixing any errors that may arise - Implementing complex algorithms to process data accurately and quickly In terms of functionality, the application should be able to: - Monitor Instagram messages and comments in real-time - Set up a webhook to receive Instagram data - Reply automatically to the messages received using OpenAI Assistant Ideal skills and experience for this project include: - Proficiency in TypeScript and SaaS architecture - Experience integrating with Instagram's API - ...

I'm looking for a qualified individual to type up a drama screenplay in Final Draft format. This project requires someone with experience in screenplay writing and proficiency in Final Draft software. Key Requirements: - Type up an existing drama screenplay. - Ensure the screenplay is in Final Draft format. Ideal Candidate: - Experience in screenplay writing. - Proficiency in Final Draft software. No

I'm looking for an experienced typist to help me bring my drama feature-length screenplay to life. Your primary task will be to type up the screenplay based on my guidance and direction. Key Requirements: - Ability to accurately type up a feature-length screenplay - Strong understanding of screenplay structure, especially in the drama genre - Experience working with screenwriters is a plus Please note, I don't require any specific formatting software, but knowledge of screenplay formatting standards is essential. The final product should be well-structured, error-free, and engaging. Ideal Skills: - Excellent typing skills - Good understanding of screenplay structure - Familiarity with drama genre - Attention to detail - Experience in screenwriting or typing up screenplays i...

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...a skilled writer who can generate engaging, promotional contents on 27 different types of cancer. The final product should account for around 300 words per cancer, totaling approximately 8,100 words. Your task will involve: - Research and understanding of each cancer type - Writing simple, layman-friendly pieces to attract the attention of the general public - Promoting oncology knowledge and awareness without the use of advanced scientific language Ideal candidates would have a background in medical or science writing, and a talent for transforming complex concepts into easy-to-understand contents. Additionally, a basic understanding of oncology would be beneficial. Empathy and sensitivity are also required as the topic is sensitive for many. Ultimately, this project is...

Job Description: We are seeking a highly skilled and innovative Designer to develop a sleek, modern, and durable metal enclosure for a seat belt retractor used in a racing simulator. This role combines technical precision with aesthetic innovation to produce a functional and visually compelling design that complements the high-performance nature of our simulators. Responsibilities: -Design a contemporary and aesthetically pleasing metal enclosure for a seat belt retractor, featuring a rectangular shape with two holes on the top for the seat belts. -Incorporate necessary ventilation in the design to allow for cooling of the internal mechanics, ensuring the design maintains its sleek and clean lines. -Ensure that the metal case is robust and durable, suitable for the rigors of sim racing ...

Job Description: We are seeking a highly skilled and creative Product Designer to join our project on a freelance basis. The goal is to design a new frame for a racing simulator that replicates the Formula 1 seating position. This innovative project aims not only to enhance the user experience with an original and attractive design but also to consider manufacturing efficiencies, specifically in terms of packaging and assembly. Responsibilities: -Design a frame for a Formula 1 style racing simulator that aligns with the provided seat design specifications. -Focus on a modular design that can be easily disassembled into smaller pieces for efficient packaging and shipping. -Innovate beyond traditional racing simulators, ensuring the design is both functional and visually appealing. -Consi...

I'm looking for a professional programmer who specializes in IC programming, specifically for smoke detectors. Key Tasks Include: - Reading and writing IC data for smoke detectors. - Handling and operating microcontroller IC chips effectively. The ideal candidate should have: - Solid experience in IC programming. - In-depth knowledge of microcontroller IC chips. - An understanding of smoke detector systems is a plus. Knowing how to troubleshoot and debug chips will offer a huge advantage. Please respond with examples of related projects you've completed and your approach to tasks like this.

I'm looking for an experienced SEO expert to help me optimize my website and improve its rankings. Key requirements include: - Increasing website traffic - Improving search engine rankings - Boosting online visibility Previous SEO strategies have been implemented on the website, so the ideal candidate will need to conduct an audit to understand what has been done and how to improve on it. The website primarily features product listings, so experience with this type of content would be beneficial. In your proposal, please outline your previous experience with these specific goals and give a clear idea of how you would approach this project.

I'm on a mission to find a competent and seasoned copywriter to assist with branding efforts. The core objective of this...Proven experience in branding content development. - Exceptional English language proficiency to ensure the quality and readability of content. - Detail-oriented, adhering to the provided branding guidelines and brief. Potential freelancers should present their work portfolios, demonstrating their prowess and proficiency in formal writing. The right candidate will be well-versed in different styles of English writing, with a particular emphasis on the formal writing style. A proven track record in developing content for branding purposes would be highly advantageous. The contract could lead to a long-term collaboration if the written content ...

I'm seeking an experienced sound designer to handle the audio elements of my upcoming mobile game. This project entails the creation of background music, character voices, and in-game sound effects. This game is being specially developed for the mobile platform. Key Responsibilities: - Develop and implement engaging background music that complements the gameplay - Create distinctive and suitable voiceovers for a small range of game characters - Design a variety of in-game sounds to heighten the player experience Ideal Skills and Experience: - Prior experience in creating audio for successful mobile games - Proficiency in using audio editing software and game development tools - Strong understanding of how sound complements gameplay - Ability to create high-quality voiceovers for mul...

I'm looking for a VBA programmer to help me with creating custom functions and macros for data analysis in Excel. Key Tasks: - Creating Macros: The project involves developing macros that can automate repetitive tasks and facilitate data analysis. - Building Custom Functions: I need custom functions to aid in data cleaning and manipulation, as well as report generation. Ideal Skills: - Proven experience in VBA programming, especially in Excel. - Strong background in automating tasks and data analysis. - Ability to develop custom functions for data cleaning and report generation. Output: - The generated reports should be in an Excel spreadsheet format, as well as a PDF document. Please provide samples of your previous VBA work, specifically any projects related to data analysis...

Need Urgent. Will start working now hourly basis. I need an expert Laravel developer to jump on board urgently to support enhancements on our existing application. The core tasks to be performed include frontend and backend development as well as bug fixing. This role requires experience in: - Backend development: We need an expert who can work on complex server-side code, solve performance problems, and architectural challenges. - Frontend development: The right candidate should be proficient in developing clean, efficient frontend design, ensuring superb user experience. - Bug fixing: Need a detail-oriented coder to troubleshoot and clear out potential bugs in our website to ensure a smooth, efficient function. Candidates need to have solid experience dealing with Laravel and its in...

I am in need of a skilled and experienced sales representative to drive chandelier sales, both in-store and online. Key Responsibilities: - Promote and sell high-end chandeliers, aiming to boost revenue and build a loyal customer base - Monitor and respond to online sales inquiries and ensure swift delivery of products - Provide exceptional customer service, ensuring each customer's needs are met and queries are answered promptly - Utilize strong online marketing skills to increase the visibility of our chandeliers online Key Skills Required: - Proven experience in luxury goods sales is a must. You should be able to demonstrate an understanding of high-value products and how to effectively sell them. - Strong online marketing skills are crucial - you will be responsible for increas...

Must be able to work US Central timezone 9am-4pm hours! Please do not apply if your timezone is more then 8 hours difference from Texas time. Must speak good English! There will be an on-camera video question where you must show your face and speak so I can hear your English. Pay range is $1,500 -$2,500 a month. The best candidate with the cheapest hourly rate will win the job. There will be a coding test to screen your skills. ****You MUST pass the coding test first before talking with me about next steps. **** If you pass the coding test you will get a 1-1 video call with me, where I will explain the rest of the job. Here is the test. You may send me a message after you complete it. Test will take ~50 min Basic job description: I'm in need of a skilled full-stack developer...

I'm seeking a friendly and approachable hostess to represent my company at the Sweets & Snacks Expo 2024 in Indianapolis. This person would greet attendees with a warm smile and assist with any inquiries they may have about our products or the event. Key Responsibilities: - Greet attendees: Your primary task will be to welcome visitors to our booth in a warm and engaging manner. - Assist with inquiries: You should be well-informed about our products and able to answer any questions attendees may have. Qualifications: - Your most important qualification is a friendly and approachable personality. It's important that you're able to make visitors feel welcome and comfortable. - Excellent communication skills are a must. You should be able to communicate clearly a...

As a tech startup, I'm in need of a compelling pitch deck aimed at securing funding for my business. Key Points: - The pitch deck should be designed to attract potential investors and convince them of my startup's viability and potential for growth. - Knowledge of the technology industry's trends and investment metrics would be a significant plus, as the pitch deck needs to be tailored to the expectations of this sector. - Experience in creating successful pitch decks for startups at the early stages is highly desirable. Your expertise in crafting engaging and informative pitch decks specific to the technology industry, as well as your track record of supporting startups in securing funding, will be highly valued. Please showcase your relevant experience when bidding.

I'm seeking an experienced writer who can effectively execute drafting a legal petition pertaining to the NFL. The main aim is to address the issue of eligibility for the supplemental draft. The ideal candidate will possess: - A strong background in legal writing - Familiarity with sports law, notably the NFL and its operations - Proven record of writing successful petitions - Great attention to detail Please furnish me with previous similar works upon bid submission.

I need a talented content writer to create engaging, informative articles for my blog. The aim of these pieces is to educate readers. Ideal Candidate: - Proficient in content writing and research - Capable of producing high-quality, engaging content - Experience writing articles with educational value This project requires a writer who is skilled in producing articles that are both informative and engaging. The ideal candidate should be able to conduct thorough research on a variety of topics and present information in a clear, accessible way. It is essential that the content is not only educational but also compelling enough to keep readers interested.

I have a 49-page double-spaced research proposal that re...Sciences, and it's formatted using APA style. I need someone who can offer: - Proficiency in APA formatting - Extensive knowledge and understanding of Social Sciences - Fluent English language and grammar skills - Attention to detail in spotting inconsistencies and errors Your main task will be to ensure the text is error-free, coherent and adheres strictly to APA guidelines. Experience in academic writing and proofreading, particularly within the Social Sciences, is a big advantage. I'm looking forward to bids from professional proofreaders who can guarantee accuracy and quality. rewriting any weak or unclear sections, as well as improving the overall flow of ideas. the document needs to be formatted according to...

I am looking for a seasoned Wikipedia editor to help me create a well-structured, professional Wikipedia page for a notable person. Key Responsibilities: - Researching and understanding the notability guidelines for Wikipedia to ensure the page is compliant....individual. - Citing reliable, verifiable online sources to back up the content. - Organizing and structuring the content in a way that is engaging and easy to read. Key Requirements: - Proven experience in creating, editing, and managing Wikipedia pages. - Strong research skills, particularly in finding reliable online sources. - Understanding of Wikipedia's policies and guidelines. - Excellent writing skills with the ability to produce professional, neutral content. - Attention to detail and ability to work with minim...

I'm on the hunt for a highly skilled CAD designer to assist with 2D drafting for a floorplan - Extensive experience with 2D drafting - Specialized in the field of engineering schematics. Bring your sharp professional skills, attention to detail, and innovative thinking to my project, and let’s design the future together.

I'm on the lookout for a marketing partner who's an expert in social media and can assist me in my e-commerce venture in the United States. I have a strategic plan waiting to be unfolded. - Expertise needed: - Social media marketing savvy and experience. - Familiar with email marketing efforts. - Deep understanding of popular social platforms. Join in, let's drive this business to success together.

I'm seeking an experienced WordPress developer to bring my e-commerce website to life. Key project requirements: Fix cors Error issue Host website Integrate smtp mail Fix website routing (upon refresh navigate to home page) Debug Headless cms Communication will primarily be through email, so it's important that you're able to provide clear and detailed updates in writing. Ideal skills and experience: - Extensive experience in custom WordPress design - Proven track record in e-commerce development - Strong communication skills for regular email updates

I'm seeking a skilled and experienced translator to help me translate a substantial amount of text from English to French. The task includes: - Translation of more than 5000 words - Translating text meant for general understanding The successful candidate must be fluent in both English and French and have a keen eye for detail to ensure an accurate, high-quality translation. A background in translation or linguistics would be an advantage.

...management is highly valued. Calendar and Schedule Management: The assistant will need to maintain and manage my calendar meticulously, scheduling meetings, reminders, and deadlines to ensure smooth operation of daily activities. Research and Documentation: Conduct detailed online research using AI tools and compile findings into well-organized documents. You will also be responsible for editing and writing technical and project-related documents. Data Management: Handle data entry tasks and use CRM software to organize and manage project-related information efficiently. Software Proficiency: Must be proficient in Microsoft Office Suite, Google Suite, CRM software, and familiar with AI tools for research and data management. Additional experience with software development tool...

I'm looking for a skilled developer who can create a custom trading script in Pinescript on the TradingView platform. This script will be based on identifying and monitoring market trends. Key Project Details: - The script should be able to accurately identify a trend based on the definition of "higher highs and higher lows". - When a trend is identified, the script should take no immediate action but continue to monitor the market conditions. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficiency in Pine Script and experience with TradingView platform. - Strong understanding of technical analysis, particularly in the context of identifying trends. - Previous experience in developing trading scripts or bots is highly advantageous. - A background in finance or trading would be benefic...

I'm looking to better navigate the world of Shopify and e-commerce. I need guidance and mentorship to ensure success in my online business. The ideal candidate should have expertise in Shopify as an e-commerce platform. Key Responsibilities: - Provide guidance on best practices for selling physical products - Troubleshoot and provide solutions for any e-commerce-related issues - Specific knowledge about online marketing and website design and development is a plus Desired Skills: - E-commerce expertise - Proficient in Shopify - Knowledge of website design and development, product sourcing, and online marketing - Familiarity with selling physical products online - Excellent communication skills for effective mentorship

I require a copywriter well-versed in the aspect...well-versed in the aspect of personal development for individuals, focusing on career growth. The ultimate objective is to convert prospects to clients through engaging and convincing content. This project demands content that will inspire individuals seeking personal development to take concrete steps towards career growth and maintain focus. The right freelancer will: - Have experience in writing for coaching or personal development - Be persuasive and able to convert leads into customers - Understand how to build a credible brand through copywriting In essence, I need a copywriter who can increase website traffic and contribute to building up my brand's trustworthiness. Looking forward to collaborating on this transforma...

I currently have a logo in JPEG format which I would like to improve in resolution and vectorize. I need two versions, one with the original color and other in monochromatic white. I also need the same job to the logo symbol apart (compass)

I'm looking for an SEO expert to significantly increase the organic traffic to my websites. The primary goal of this is to drive more sales for my offshore financial services. Key Responsibilities: - Develop and implement a comprehensive SEO strategy to increase site visibility on search engines like Google and Bing. - Conduct keyword research to optimize our site's content for target keywords related to offshore financial services. - Perform site audits to ensure the website is optimized for search engines. Ideal Candidate Profile: - Prior experience in SEO for financial services, particularly in the offshore industry, is highly desirable. - Proficient in conducting keyword research and analysis. - Proven track record of increasing organic traffic and improving search engine r...

NO AUTO GENERATED APPLICATIONS! THEY WILL BE DELETED! NOTE: I AM LOOKING FOR SOMEONE IMMEDIATELY AVAILABLE I am in urgent need of a fluently English speaking/writing Copywriter. I specifically need a business copywriter that can specialize in sponsorship pitch decks. You will need to have some experience with sales pitching. I have an Event that I'm looking for sponsorships for from liquor companies, speaker brands, food brands. I have some notes about the event already. Sentences here and there describing the event & aspects of the crowd. But its not enough to fill up a pitch deck. Your job is to speak to me, get the proper information you need to write out text for the sponsorship. I have a templated pitch deck & you will fill in the information on this template....

I'm looking for someone with WordPress expertise to help create my website. Essential requirements: - Basic understanding of web development - Experience with WordPress Further details will be discussed upon hiring.

I need an expert in transcription services to assist with my project. I have a recording conversation that is approx. 30min long. need a conversation that is occurring on the other end enhanced and transcribed

I'm looking for a skilled graphic designer who can assist in creating a logo and related branding materials. The task at hand will involve: - Crafting a dynamic and memorable logo - Designing associated branding materials Your creativity and ability to translate my general ideas into compelling visuals is crucial. This project is specifically aimed at promoting a forthcoming event or product. I need someone who can combine design expertise with a solid understanding of branding principles. Experience in delivering similar projects, particularly for events or product promotions, is a big plus. Your portfolio should showcase your capacity to produce clean, modern, and engaging design work. Your input and suggestions will be valued throughout. I'm open to new ideas and excited ...

...team to ensure the animations resonate with our brand and vision. Requirements: Proficiency in animation software like Adobe After Effects, Photoshop, or equivalent tools. A robust portfolio showcasing prior animation projects. Ability to work autonomously and drive creative initiatives. Excellent communication skills and a collaborative mindset. Meticulous attention to detail and a knack for humor and narrative. Knowledge about cryptocurrencies and trading. Example Project: Check out the Instagram Reels by Ponkesol () to grasp the style and caliber of content we're aiming for. We aspire to achieve a similar level of ingenuity and amusement in our milkbag character Instagram Reels. How to Apply: If you're passionate about animation and possess a talent

My existing app has been fully developed, and now I'm looking for a skilled Flutter developer to assist in uploading it on the iOS platform and integrating in-app purchases. Key requirements and scope of work: - Fully developed iOS app upload: The app is complete and functional, so the primary goal is to ensure a smooth and successful upload to the iOS platform. - In-app purchase integration: Implementing in-app purchases within the app is crucial. This includes setting up the necessary mechanisms for users to make purchases within the app. I am looking for someone who: - Has extensive experience in Flutter and iOS app development - Is proficient in in-app purchase implementations - Understands the process of uploading apps to the Apple Store and can ensure it meets all necessary r...

I am in need of a talented PHP developer with solid experience in integrating SMTP email with Outlook. The project's main objective is to enhance our mailing system, making it more user-friendly and effective. Key Project Requirements: - Implementing the ability to send email notifications from our system through Outlook. - Enabling tracking of email delivery status, ensuring transparency in our communication process. - Developing a user-friendly way to manage email templates, specifically focusing on basic text formatting like bold or italics. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficiency in PHP development. - Prior experience with integrating SMTP email, particularly using Outlook. - Strong understanding of email delivery tracking. - Ability to create a simplistic yet effective emai...